Something That Isn't There
by Fool'sgold1
Summary: She's seen it. Underneath his shadowed hood and behind his eyes, raw and as powerful as any look could be. Dana doesn't like to think about it, so she spends her time searching and hoping for something else.


Something That Isn't There

(and one thing that is)

* * *

When laying alone in an unfamiliar bed that the doctor has provided, Dana Mercer thinks about a lot of things, most importantly, about things that were. The things she has to cling onto.

Simply put, these are her drive, but only for something that many people would find unusual. Her drive consists of gentle pictures, memories that cause a tidal wave of nostalgia to wash over her. Pictures of what was her family, though some are more heart tugging than others.

The bitter sweetness of it all tells her that they are real.

--

Alex.

When they were young, Dana and Alex understood each other. She always remembered it. That at one time, all they needed to worry about was the simplest of matters. He was her brother and she knew that. No secrets, no lies. No doubts. Nothing to give reason to question or second guessing.

Days spent talking and playing, just like a brother and sister should. When racing around the city block was an event to be expected and enjoyed, or hot lazy summer afternoons giving way to ice cream in the park. When the turmoil from their mother boiled over into a twisting flurry of screams and her face contorted into a frightening scowl, Dana was left scared and confused. On those nights, she would silently slip into the other room and into her older brother's arms, who shushed the girl's timid sobs and created a tiny space of their own. A wall separating her from the cruel world.

The bitter sweetness tells Dana that it was real, that it wasn't a lie.

--

Alex stands in front of her, his face partly covered by a tattered hoodie and a leather black jacket that reeks of overuse and age. His jaw is set as if he has been grinding his teeth together for the past week, just like every other part of his body: tense, coiled like a snake waiting for the opportunity to strike. Alex's whole stance shouts that underneath it all his insides are writhing around each other in a vicious frenzy, barely contained and always prepared.

The shadows of his face outline the sharp cold stare in his eyes.

Did his eyes turn a lighter color, or were they always that way?

Dana wonders what happened to her brother, because she looks and looks for the boy she knew until she gets tired of squinting. She gets tired, but she still continues. Needling questions set in, thoughts that tear at her conscious. Too big to ignore or push away, she tries as hard as she can, but they eventually win, and the next time she crosses paths with Alex she chances a long steady glance into his face.

Dana sees it, behind his eyes, and some buried instinct inside her head screams bloody murder, trying to coax the young woman into running for the sake of self preservation. She quickly beats down the feeling and stows it back into whatever deep confines it came from, but the damage is done.

That night, and every night after Dana Mercer, little sister to Alex Mercer, quietly tells herself lies. That he's there, she just has to look a little harder. Alex is standing right in front of her, and that means he's there. He's real. The memories tell her that this is him.

Even though she's seen it, the twenty year old denies it. To admit that what she was looking for has been replaced by something alien is to admit that Alex is dead. That a voracious, animalistic, abysmal creature is now parading around in her big brother's skin. This particular thought makes her spine run cold, and she shudders with revulsion. Dana decides that she'll never bring the idea up again, and instead spend her time searching and hoping for any indication that in this man is something left from the brother she used to know.

Something that isn't there.

* * *

Oh crap, first fic ever and I fear that it is incoherent, sloppy, all over the place, and dull. Well, I guess that's what I get for rushing it in 3 hours and not having anyone else read it.

Well, anyways.

ANY KIND OF CRIT GREATLY APPRECIATED. This was meant to be a drabble about what Dana really thinks of the whole situation and why she resists the thought of Alex being dead, because from what limited knowledge I have of her, it seems like she's in a deep seated state of denial. I think they really should have worked on this particular relationship in the game. :I


End file.
